Session 17: LMFAO (Candid Review)

When we last saw our rag tag crew they were checking out the room at the far end of the crypts.  Inside the room was a shrine made completely out of fucking bones.  Can you believe it?  Well its true!  Its so true that the cleric, as unholy as it was, went and touched the fucking thing.  You know what he just started laughing!  He couldn't stop!  It was like uncontrollable laughter.  Everyone promptly backed up and didn't touch it.  Hells no. (CLICK BELOW TO READ MORE)

While Gregoire the hilarious was ROTFL the rest of the gang searched the room.  Bill turned the statue and it opened up a secret door.  In the small room was a dead kobold frothing at the mouth.  The drag his ass out of there and do some medical exam type shit on him.  He definitely tried to get into that chest.  The pin prick in his finger pretty much explains it.  The druid and someone else, I cant remember who any more pushed that heavy ass chest into the main room and crow-bared it the fuck open.  Inside was a healthy amount of gold (1000 GP) 6 gold rings and 2 vials of liquid.

The crew decides to check the 2 unopened doors and they are empty, in the other unsearched room there was 10 PP.  They make their way to the east of the crypts and then south.  They see another GD statue.  WTF is it with statues in this place?  There was some rubble around the statue as well as in the hall way leading down there.  The walls had cracks in them all around.  Looks like a fairly unused part of the dungeon.  No kobolds have been down there cleaning in a while.  The statue was holding a bowl of a few coins and gems.  It had a horn in its nose and 4 arms.  Definitely some evil demon shit.  They skip it and head south to a room with a cistern.  Lots of drinkable water.

Then they head north through to a long dark hallway.  On the right is a door.  They decide to just open that bitch and see whats what.  Inside are some gnarly looking dudes in some crazy uniforms.  Definitely some hobgoblin looking fools.  They had a map spread out on a table.  As soon as the PCs entered they scooped up the map and attacked.  Before G Unit Robbie had a chance to cast his spells on those fuckers they got some good hits in on Orc boy.  Once Robbie's spell went off it was nightly night.  Of course 3 of them got whacked right there and then.  Then they woke up the last 2 to interrogate.  The map was of the town north of the dungeon. Bill thinks its some kind of an advanced scouting party.  They mentioned taking over the dungeon. (and the world). After some shit talking they kill them off and look for a place to crash for the night, oh and rob them of their loot.  34 GP

They make their way to the west to look for a secluded room to sleep.  During the night they hear some marching and muttering in the hallway.  Everyone stayed silent and the marching faded out.  Maybe sleeping so close to the Orc's guard post wasn't the smartest idea they had, or maybe it was fucking brilliant!  We will find out next week! (They should be smokin' on some that danky dank "halfling's finest" to chill the EFF out., maybe trade it for something better.)

Loot:

34 GP from HobNobbers

1000 GP from the chest

6 rings 60 GP from the chest

10 PP from one of the crypts.

2 vials of some jungle juice.

Monsters:

5 Hobnobbers: 75 XP

Chest Trap Bypass: 100 XP

I'm not updating the map until the next time you leave the dungeon.